Acting Up? Acting Out? We are all acting, almost all the time.

A Review: Acting Power – The 21st Century Edition by Robert Cohen

What do Benicio del Torro, a project manager, a baby, and a narcissist have in common? They are all modifying their behavior to engage, direct, and instruct. From the moment we consider our situation, our needs, and our ultimate goal we are constructing another person – a performer. Cohen has countless tips for actors and just about everyone else who is communicating with one or more people.

We all decide whether we are actors or re-actors – and when. People play on others’ intentions and motivations to get them to behave in a way the speaker wants. Once these “performers” gain a fan base, their fans will believe the unbelievable.

Trying to negotiate with these people? Alan Rickman said, according to Cohen, “no one believes they’re a villain.” Everyone wants to see themselves as the hero.  

How should we practice this?

Cohen says Cognitive Behavioral approaches provide much of what good actors and excellent communicators practice. They think more in terms of goals, then the means, rather than simply motivations. According to Cohen, and many leadership programs: motivation is in the past, action in the present, and goals are in the future. Heroes do something NOW for the future.

Be like a boxer; a successful boxer must have a plan but also be open to the moves his or her opponent plays. Boxing forces us to observe and listen rather than become too rigid or self-absorbed.

Use and express your optimism, says Cohen. A positive approach creates its own momentum, changing the power of potential obstacles and sweeping lumps and bumps aside. Beneficial secondary gains for the giver and receiver.